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Why You Never Became A Pony

from Apple Seed by Whitehorse

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Based on Whitehouse - "Why You Never Became A Dancer" with some words replaced.

lyrics

Can I suggest you:
Get applebucked
While you lie about being a filly fiddler
And parkbench Lyras and Ponyville creeps
And unicorn magic virginity and pegasus wing flaps
And verbal abuse and Gabby Gums
I don't know how well you can:
Remember your own pointless glue-sniffing childhood
That fumbling playing with horses
In between stallions
Those pathetic hooffights
All those pathetic petty neighs
And this and that and this and that and this and that
And every other applebucking Brony-clichéd cringe

Can I suggest you:
Pose
While you take another frantic glance at your shopwindow reflection
Ensuring the stinking lie is maintained
Because that's the difference between you
Yes, that's the difference between you
You'll let a leering scumbag ciderdrinking diamond dog
Raise your nostrils for a close-up smell
Of horse manure and animal fat
And force an open dead muzzle
Lap up ounces of pony sweat
So can you feel that:
Would be a truly truly disgusting thing?

And that's the difference between me
I'll open up Netflix
I'll watch the show
I'll enjoy perfectly well-made fan art
I'll get in line behind stupidity
I'll let you lie through your teeth
I'll make you feel special
I'll not pick out the mistakes in public
I'll just put it down to passion
And feigned memory lapse

What did you want to be when you grow up?
Certainly not Twilight Sparkle
That's the difference between you
A drunk? A horse addict
A motherly protector of the young?
Another bed-staining colt?
A filly fiddler that needs to be told?
Or just a craven imagination-driven artist
Channelling confusion and fear
Into a sickly limp repetitive craft
Yes, that's the difference between you
You'll act late and surprised
You say you loved roleplaying?
You'll love being hated for the act
The filthier the abuse and the desperate equine details
The fatter the payback
So rather than just listen
Be altered by what's been said

Now that's the difference between me
I'll show you emotional truth
I'll show you the applebucking source
I'll show you yet another applebucking liar
And this is for the you
I'll show you that something that makes you:
Feel different
Feel special
I'll give you:
Thoughts
Apples
Ponies
I'll give the you something
Even more interesting than the last one
And I'll tell you why it's the best one yet
And then you can look back on it all
And say:
This is the best thing that ever happened to MLP
And see:
Why you never became a pony

credits

from Apple Seed, released August 4, 2014
Music by 3ternal
Vocals/lyrics by William Bennett / Supersaw Hoover

license

all rights reserved

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about

Whitehorse image

Whitehorse Baltimore, Maryland

kind of like that band called Whitehouse

not like the other two bands called Whitehorse

Whitehorse is 3ternal + Supersaw Hoover

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